How The Hell Am I Going To Do This?

Well a recent study came out yesterday, which stated that in order for a single parent of two to "get by" in Massachusetts they'd have to be making at least $62,000 a year. I recently received a 30% paycut, so I'm not making no where near that. I don't qualify for WIC, foodstamps or childcare assistance, but somehow I am supposed to make it. This is where my faith steps and I tell myself, "put it in God's hand. Where there's a will, there's a way."

I cannot tell a lie: I am scared shitless. I know this baby is a blessing and something I've wanted for a long time, but geez, why does it have to be a struggle? I guess you can say today I'm in one of those "woe is me" funks. I fell for another jerk-off and I'm kicking myself.

Snap out of it, girl and focus on the positive. You are a strong, woman about to have a beautiful baby who will think the world of you.

Taking a deep breath. Okay, I'm cool. Well, I got a good swim in this morning. No fat man hitting me. I'm building up my stamnia.  I can make it to the end of the pool without pausing at the 5 feet mark-- woo-hoo!

A co-worker, who I work with via telephone sent me the sweetest card today. It said something like, "in the ups and downs of life, you're one of the ups and I enjoy working with you."
How cool was that? It really made my day-- especially since yesterday another co-worker got pissed at me because I didn't want to wait for him to go smoke a cigarette at the end of my shift.-- WHATEVER!!!

Anyhow, can't wait to go home and spend some time my little man at home, well he's big man now-- almost 12. Have to stay on him about his homework. He's very forgetful, but I love him anyway.